Pray
by jnovak428
Summary: Dean's been praying to Castiel for so long now with no reply. He keeps trying to shove that horrible thought away, holding on to hope, but this is it. He might as well let it all out, because either there's no one to hear him, or, maybe he can bring his angel home. Destiel. Set sometime before "Goodbye Stranger."


**A/N:** This is reminiscent of the praying scene in "Remember the Titans," which really got to me. There's just so many what-ifs in these situations, possibilities to the outcome. So this is one of those times Dean prays, but it's been so long... this is Dean on his last legs, still holding out hope *wipes tear* cause that's who he is. I know he usually never has long-winded talks, but this is a "This is it" moment, so I might as well give him the dialogue to get it all out. I suppose this disregards "Goodbye Stranger," as I wrote it before that episode premiered.

I do not own Supernatural or its characters.

* * *

_Cas, you listening? I need to hear your voice. Come on down here so we can talk face to face._

Dean scanned the dimly lit room, ready to find a pair of crystal blue eyes watching him protectively from the darkness. But he sat alone tonight, as he had for the last several weeks. With each evening that passed the silence grew more unnerving, and a sense of desolation began to fill the emptiness like a misty fog rolling in, clouding the thoughts of hope that had clung desperately to life for so long. Dean refused to accept the dismal truth that hung looming before him, suspended in every molecule of space unfilled by his angel's glowing presence.

_Please Cas, I'm begging you. At least let me know you're alive, give me a sign…anything._

A single tear trickled down his cheek, and with it disappeared any remaining reservations. At last, he was released from a death grip that had held his heart in its thorny clutches ever since that fateful fiery inferno. Dean took a deep breath. If Cas was gone, he could shout to the heavens until his voice was hoarse and it would make no difference. On the other hand, if by some sliver of a chance Cas was out there somewhere, this would bring him home. Either way, Dean realized it was finally time to relinquish himself to the universe. He'd lived inside his barren shell for as long as he could bear, and now he yearned to know if the grass truly was greener on the other side. He feared, with his hazardous lifestyle, he may not have much more time to find out.

_Cas! I'm calling you cause I got something to say! So just listen, and if I don't hear anything from you when I'm done, then… then I'll stop trying. _

_ Most of all, I want to tell you I'm sorry. We're cursed. Fate keeps dumping its crap on us, forcing us to make choices that tear us apart. I'm sorry I ever blamed you for any of it, because I know now you tried to make the best of a frickin' impossible situation. I'm sorry I didn't help when you most needed it. But even more, I'm sorry I rubbed off on you. Seeing you deal with your problems in that same downward spiral of guilt and self-loathing I see in myself every day, it pains me more than words. You deserve better than that. And yet even after all I've dragged you into, everything you've lost cause of me, you thank me. You don't regret the moment you pulled me out of Hell. It's easy to want to take it all back. It's a ton harder to look past the bad and see how much more good came of it. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to learn that on my own. Look… somehow, we keep getting thrown back together, even when entire worlds separate us. I think that counts for something. Maybe… maybe that's how it's meant to be. _

_I'm gonna cut the crap. You and I share something I can't describe. Whatever happened down in Hell when you rebuilt me, I think we both gave a part of ourselves. That's why nothing can keep us apart- we're… we're like two halves of a whole, and Cas… we deserve to be whole. It's impossible trying to find words for how I feel, cause it's so deep, as if it were a part of every cell in my body, down to the darkest recesses of my broken pit of a soul. The closest thing I can find for it… is love. I love you, Cas… and none of this 'like a friend' or 'like family' crap, you heard what I said and I know you feel it too, cause you've told me before about our 'profound bond.' This is me, accepting it- with arms shaky, but open._

_ I love you, do you hear me?! I SAID I LOVE YOU, CASTIEL! Now get your feathery ass down here and kiss me!_

Dean was yelling at the top of his lungs. He couldn't care less at this point if Sam was listening because all that mattered was proving his angel was alive. If this didn't bring him down from Heaven, he wasn't breathing. Dean stood with arms outstretched in proclamation, awaiting with trepidation the final verdict. The only sound in the room was his jagged panting, which he attempted to quiet in order to hear the hushed fluttering of wings when it came. _If _it came. Time stopped as Dean slowly closed his eyes, holding out hope with all his might. Just a little longer. Already he could feel his heart beginning to sink. Had he truly been too late?

If only Dean knew how hard Castiel was fighting for him…

* * *

The angel blade clattered as it slid across the polished linoleum floor. Naomi twisted Castiel's wrist backwards and he let out a cry of pain. She was blocking his powers so he was unable to heal the injury. Using his good hand Castiel wrenched Naomi's blade out of her grasp. She threw him across the room with extraordinary strength and he collided with the wall. Groaning, he rose and staggered back in her direction. Naomi charged at him, dodging the blade and tackling him to the ground. He was pinned down, and she wrestled her knife back from him. Castiel, breathing heavily, waited for the worst as Naomi held the angel blade high above her head, ready to inflict the deadly blow. Just then, a voice drifted dreamily into the white room, echoing familiar in Castiel's mind. Dean was praying again. For a brief moment the world stood still as Castiel took in what he believed would be the last words he'd ever hear.

…_nothing can keep us apart- we're… we're like two halves of a whole, and Cas… we deserve to be whole._

The events that followed seemed unreal to the angel. A fire erupted to life inside him, and with one sweep of his fractured hand he grabbed the blade lying beside him and drove it straight up into Naomi's heart. Castiel trembled with agony, clenching his jaw and pushing until he was upright, holding Naomi impaled as she struggled to free herself. Dean's voice rang loud and clear now, his glorious battle cry urging the angel to finish her off.

_I love you, do you hear me?! I SAID I LOVE YOU, CASTIEL! Now get your feathery ass down here and kiss me!_

Naomi made a final lunge at Castiel, wrapping her hands around his throat. With his last ounce of strength he twisted the blade, watching as she gasped and the hands fell limply away from him. As the light left her eyes, he leaned in close and whispered triumphantly, "You forgot one thing- _I'm not alone._ Now if you'll excuse me, I have a prayer to answer." He disappeared, leaving her lifeless form sprawled out over the desk, dark blood seeping through her suit and pooling on the glass.

Dean stood facing the wall despairingly, trying to hold back tears. There was a 'whoosh' from behind him and before he knew it Castiel whipped him around and pulled him into a kiss. Dean melted, a small sigh escaping him as the angel's lips locked firmly onto his own. Both refused to let go until they were out of oxygen, at which point they retreated gingerly, coming to stare into each other's eyes. Dean noticed Castiel's bruised and battered state but before he could react the angel crumpled in his arms. Alarmed, Dean attempted to help him up but when he grabbed a hold of Castiel's hand he winced in pain. Cautiously Dean lifted him from under the shoulders and carried him to the bed, laying him down softly. Castiel began to shiver and coughed up blood onto the comforter. Panicking, Dean yelled for his brother. Sam came running in and rushed to the bedside, immediately questioning Dean about what had happened but received no answer. All Dean could think about was losing his angel. _No, not like this… Not after…_He was frozen, tunnel vision blinding everything but Castiel's pale face. Sam's voice was just a muffled echo as he heard Castiel stutter his name through the blood on his lips. Dean approached him and bent down close to catch the words. "Dean…" the angel mumbled. "I'll be ok…I just need to rest…" A tender smile appeared on Dean's face as he whispered soothingly, "Don't worry, I'll be right here when you wake up."

Sam was futilely attempting to tell his brother that he was sure the angel's wrist was broken, but stopped short when he saw Dean lean in and kiss Castiel right in front of him. Feeling as though he must have missed something important, Sam watched awkwardly as Dean shared this intimate moment in his presence. In fact, Dean had all but forgotten his brother was there. He just wanted to reassure his angel that he wasn't going anywhere. Despite the metallic taste in his mouth, Dean's heart did somersaults when he kissed Castiel, brushing against his stubble ever so gently with his palm. It was pure magic, something he never believed existed until now. As he pulled away slowly, a weary smile grew on both of their faces, and Castiel fell asleep content in knowing no nightmares would plague him that night or ever. He had a hunter to chase the demons away.


End file.
